This afternoon I was there
In the only place I’ve managed to
Be here at the very moment
I am actually in. I’ve not been
Here since.
foolhandy
Some Digital Art
Time
Walking to the shop this morning I was again aware that every leaf on every tree is constantly growing, changing. And so am I and everything else I can and can not see. For a moment I imagined being in a time lapse image, rushing onwards beyond the constraints of the clock.
Cambridge United 1 – Newport County 4
I was back at The Abbey last night. Last season, for various reasons, I wasn’t there enough and I missed not having a proper feel for the team and individual players, for the Club as a whole. And I missed out on too many games like Saturday’s against Notts County, which just isn’t acceptable. The Carabao Cup doesn’t fill me with much excitement generally but I was free for the evening and my children (7 & 8) were up for going. They’ve been a few times before but don’t get the buzz when it’s cold and wet and there are no goals. Yesterday was warm and dry, a late night was offered, and even they love the thought of possibly hearing Coconuts… Here are, in time-honoured football cliche, five thoughts on an evening at the Abbey at the start of a new season:
- The time. It was an evening game, and my children’s first that wasn’t on a Saturday afternoon. Floodlit games are special. It was dinner time and they had bacon butties and chips like we were having a picnic. Watching the sky darken and the slender moon poke through the clouds. And it’s August – short sleeves and a warm breeze beats numb feet and multiple layers in mid-February. All good!
- The game. We were absolutely dreadful. Awful. There are mitigating circumstances and it’s not like back in the day when game after game was like this but… There needs to be a reaction to this.
- The ground. The staff and volunteers who work on the physical stadium have again done a great job. There’s a good feel to the Abbey, and I liked the new South Habbin decoration particularly. Well done all concerned.
- The kit. On seeing the new kit in action I must say that
the position of the sponsor actually makes complete sense and the gap below it doesn’t look oddit doesn’t look any better than online – why did they do that to the stripe/space/sponsor positioning? Move the sponsor down or continue the bottom stripes further up so they underlap the sponsor too, either would work. But this? I’ll make no further comment on this because what’s done is done but…poor. - The event. The Carabao Cup element was actually a blessing. There was a relaxed feel because no one was too anxious about the result. And the crowd was small too – under 2,000. This didn’t lend itself to the greatest of atmospheres, and it’s obviously better when the place is full and rocking, but it did mean that there were no queues or crowding and I could get seats for us right at the front. And atmosphere is relative anyway. My children haven’t felt a play-off final at Wembley, holding Manchester United to a 0-0, or the joy of knocking five past Droylsden when every pass might lead to a goal, so a nothing performance in a minor cup competition is still exciting. Overall, despite the result, it was a very lovely evening spent with my children for less money that it costs to go and watch the Mamma Mia! sequel. Plus, the empty spaces meant Marvin could give some extra quality time to the young fans.
Mid way through the second half, when Newport had been three goals up for a while and it was becoming clear that we were never going to get back into the match I was asked if I was disappointed:
“Not really. I’ve seen Cambridge United play dreadfully more times than I’ve seen them play well. It’s just how it is.”
“Why do you keep supporting them then?”
“Because they’re my team and…”
I didn’t finish the sentence because what reason could I give? Two young children, who witnessed a truly abysmal display of football, jumped for joy when we scored a token penalty in the 90th minute to make it 4-1. They want to go again. The atmosphere, meagre as it was, got them. It does that.
Before The 2017 General Election
I voted to Remain in the EU and I’m a member of the Green Party. In an ideal world we’d have a left-wing Government as part of the European Union but I’m also a realist and, however much it upsets me, I accept that 52% of voters chose to leave the EU and so that’s what’s going to happen. Referendums are binary and we’re heading out.
As we approach the General Election in a few weeks time I have an important question rattling around my head. Here it is:
In light of all that we have seen and heard since the Referendum, with a Conservative Party seemingly aiming for a hard-Brexit, do Brexit supporters feel that the wishes of the 48% should have any bearing on the process? Are those 16.1 million people now irrelevant because 1.3 million more people wanted something different?
With the answer to that question in mind, what point is there in me voting on June 8th? This is not a flippant question. I used to think that every vote, even with a first-past-the-post system, was important because even if you didn’t vote for the winner your MP would take notice of those who voted for other parties. For example, as a Green voter in a Conservative safe seat I’d expect my MP with 53% of the vote to follow the Tory line and represent the wishes of the the majority who voted for him – but I also hoped that when doing their job they’d bear in mind the other 47% and take into some sort of consideration that almost half their constituents had a different vision for the country than them. By voting Green (or Labour, or Lib Dem, or – shudder – UKIP) in a Conservative safe seat I’d expect to lose but I’d also be making my views known and, however quietly, my voice heard.
Post-referendum, I’m left doubting that absolutely. We have marched towards a hard-Brexit with scant regard being paid to the 48%. We are repeatedly told that Brexit is “the will of the Nation” when actually it’s the “will of 33% of those in the Nation who are eligible to vote”.
Along with over 16 million people I have become a non-person, irrelevant and disregarded. Yes referendums are binary, but surely you have to pay some attention to the will of those who didn’t win? Don’t you?
And so back to June’s election. James Cleverly is going to win this seat. It’s a certainty and he knows it. Unless he does something as stupid as the last one he’ll be my MP until 2022, and even if he does mess up some other Tory will be drafted in and they’ll do the job instead. So who do I vote for, or do I vote at all?
Obviously, I’m going to vote. But…
Vote Green I definitely lose and, in light of what I’ve written above, I have no faith that my non-Tory views will be considered for even a moment over the next 5 years.
Vote Labour tactically and I’m 99% going to lose and again, in light of what I’ve written above, etc. etc.
Vote UKIP or Lib Dem and I’ve somehow got to live with myself…
So who do I vote for? Vote for my beliefs or tactically, and does it make any difference? Is James Cleverly and the Conservative Party in general going to pretend I don’t exist on June 9th or might my vote, and the many millions of votes by people like me, be considered for even a fleeting moment whilst the country is being ripped apart?
“I say I’m in love with her. What does that mean?
“It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like genius she is ignorant of what she does.”
Mix Your Own Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters
Given this table and told to pick a shot from A (fairly standard spirits), a shot from B (flavoured/novelty/grimace-forming), a mixer & a garnish in order to Mix Your Own Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – this is a selection of what was drunk. (There were others, but by then we were too alight to write them down…)
Tequila, Jagermeister & Coke. Cherry.
Dark Rum, Fireball (liquor with whisky & cinnamon), Red Bull. Umbrella.
Gin, Limoncello, Elderflower cordial & soda. Lime.
Pear schnapps, sloe gin, lemonade.
Pear schnapps, 10-year-old plastic bottle Seychelles dark rum, lemonade. Cherry.
Vodka, Limoncello & cranberry.
Bacardi, slow gin & cranberry.
Pear schnapps, Limoncello & Red Bull
Courvoisier, 10-year-old plastic bottle Seychelles dark rum, tonic water & grenadine. Lime.
Courvoisier, margarita mix, lemonade. Lime.
Whisky, Genepy, Limoncello, lemonade. Lime.
I recall having one later on that made me shudder to my core – needed a top up of Red Bull to make it palatable. Generally though, there were some great new drinks created!
Pale Blue Dot
It’s 100 years since the start of World War I and a lot of trite nonsense is being spoken. There’s also a lot of being the correct way to commemorate it. This extract from Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space talking about the photograph Pale Blue Dot, taken of planet Earth in 1990 by the Voyager 1 space probe from a record distance of about 6 billion kilometres, is the perfect foil to the pomposity of the those who would try to glorify the horrors of that war, and/or pretend that we only need to pay tribute to the British who suffered and fell. We are all the same, we all inhabit a pale blue dot in the vast emptiness of the cosmos, and our individual, group and national megalomania are utterly pointless.
From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it’s different. Consider again that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity – in all this vastness – there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.
—Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space, 1997 reprint, pp. xv–xvi
Hey Duggee’s Rain Dance Song
Hey Duggee, as featured on CBeebies, is a thing of wonder. The Rain Dance Badge is a particular favourite is this household. Here’s Duggee’s Rain Dance Song as an MP3 for you to enjoy again and again.
“Come on clouds! Help the plants! We’re doing Duggee’s, rain dance!”
Genius…
Wonderful Part 2
Whilst driving on a very ordinary piece of road this afternoon, with me in the front and my children in the back, my 4 year old daughter came out with this:
Daughter: “Oh it’s wonderful!”
Me: “What is?”
Daughter: “The whole world Daddy…”
And as I looked again at scenery I had hitherto just seen I had to agree with her. In every vista there’s something worth seeing. Something that’s wonderful.
Thank you my beautiful girl.
A Review Of ASDA European Breakdown Cover
Exciting stuff eh?!
We’ve been with ASDA European Breakdown for two years now.
On Saturday, driving home from Northern Germany and heading for the overnight ferry from Hook of Holland, the alternator went on our T4 just before the Dutch border & just after all the garages had shut up for the weekend. With two children under 4 in the party I called ASDA Breakdown and they provided the following service:
- Towed us to a local ADAC garage.
- Repair at the ADAC garage.
- Taxi to a very nice hotel with family room.
- Taxi to the airport.
- BA flight to the UK.
- Hire car from airport to home.
- Regular updates via phone & text.
- Regular calls to check that taxis/hire cars/flights were as planned and that we were OK.
Of course, the van was still in Germany when we got home. In a convenient twist of fate we know someone who works at a car import/export company which had a truck on its way to Hook of Holland and has offered to ship the van back to the UK for us. This does make life much easier but if we hadn’t have had that option ASDA would have:
- Flown me back over to Germany.
- Taxi to the garage.
- And then I’d have driven the van home.
(And should our shipping option not work out the offer for this is till there.)
I really can’t speak highly enough of them. There was a slight moment of anxiety over the flight on Sunday evening (I hadn’t mentioned the car seats & bag for the hold so the original Ryanair flight fell through quite late on) and I did spend a lot of time on my mobile getting/checking info. but I always felt like we were being looked after and…well worried about really. The people I dealt with on the phone seemed to care that we were OK and that everything was being sorted. I know it’s just their job but when you’re stuck in Germany with no way to get home that perception is a nice one to have.
What could have been a nightmare end to a great holiday actually turned into something approaching an exciting adventure, and although we’ve got bags of clothes in the back on the car we can’t get to yet (plus the pressies for people!) we were, in the end, only a few hours later getting home than we would have been had we got the ferry as originally planned. And the hotel was nicer that the ferry! It was stressful at times, but my stress was due to us having broken down in the first place, not the support we subsequently received.
So there we are. I’m sure some people will have had less positive experiences but that’s modern life I guess. We however are very happy customers and I wanted to share this with you.
On Britishness
On being faced with the question: Could these British values of tolerance be the thing that costs us our Britishness?
Britishness? Britishness? It’s just a political construct! A name! The people of these islands have changed, and will change, day-after-day until the end of time. I was born and bred in this country but I’m a quarter-Latvian which means I’m not pure-bred British and so ought I to lop off an arm & ship it back to the Baltic? I’m probably more anti-Britain than most of the Muslims who get abused on a daily basis in this bloody wonderful country but because I’m white nothing will ever be said to me.
What is it to be “British”? Reading the endless drivel about the Woolwich attack made me think just that. Calling paid killers heroes? Knifing someone who looks like a Muslim? Attacking a mosque? Too extreme? Maybe just venting your spleen about ‘them’ on social networking sites like being ‘British’ makes you automatically morally superior to every people in the world by default.
Being ‘British’ means nothing. I’m not British, I’m not European, I’m just a person. An accident of fate means that I was born in Britain, and I’ll concede I was lucky enough that that’s the case. But I’m not lucky to be ‘British’ because Britain is somehow better than other countries, or that ‘Britishness’ is superior to any other -ness, but because 500 years ago the people of these isles decided to act despicably towards the rest of the world before the rest of the world had a chance to fight back. That meant I had food, water, an education, clothing & a roof over my head – all paid for by centuries of plundering the world. I’d rather have it than not, but Britain (and therefore me as one of its subjects) is in no position to take any kind of moral high ground, and if being ‘British’ means I have to look down on the rest of the world and pretend I’m someone special because I’ve got a light-coloured face and was brought up with a cross being rammed down my throat rather than a crescent I’ll pass thank you.
‘Britishness’ is about as concrete a notion as the sea. It’s been changing for thousands of years and it’ll keep changing forever, although it’s only been ‘Britishness’ since 1707 because that’s how long Great Britain has existed. Before that it was ‘Englishness’, and before that ‘Anglo-Saxoness’ and before that… We can’t lose something that isn’t fixed, but we can keep hold of the fact that we’re all humans and that most of us basically want the same things in life.
I don’t know why I’m writing this, I’ve been sucked into the ‘debate’ when I promised myself I wouldn’t. All I really think, because I’m a yoghurt-weaving woolly-minded hippy is that the labels of ‘British’, ‘Christian’, ‘Muslim’, ‘Nigerian’, Conservative’, ‘Cambridge United Supporter’ are just labels we give ourselves because we want to belong, but in the end we’re all simultaneously individuals and one part of the human collective. Maybe if we all started treating the Woolwich killers as two people who did a terrible thing rather than ‘Muslims’ and the victim as a man who was walking home rather than a ‘British soldier/hero’ we might not give other people reason to do this kind of thing again, because you can’t have reprisals against everyone? Give people a label though and you make them a target. Maybe if we were all just a bit nicer to people regardless of where they were born or live, or the colour of their skin, or the version of god they worship there might be less of this kind of thing in the world? Maybe if we stopped judging people from a position of self-imposed superiority? Maybe if we were all just a bit kinder to one another?
If we really were a tolerant nation these terrible things wouldn’t happen. I think they do because we’re only really tolerant when it suits us.
That’s me done, I shall leave with the wonderful cartoon below and go back to avoiding the news and trying to be nice to people as much as possible.
Wonderful
Generally, for as long as I can remember, I’ve always answered “Coping…” when asked how I am. I say it sometimes at home, I say it always at work, and it’s usually accompanied by one of the sighs for which I’m renowned. Recently I read a tweet which suggested we ought to reply to that oft-asked question with “Challenged” and I confess I saw merit in doing so. I understood where the tweeter was coming from even though I’ve been berating myself for years for not fully counting my blessings.
This morning, on walking back from buying some milk at our local shop, I witnessed the following conversation between a woman I was walking behind and a man coming the other way:
Woman: How are you dear?
Man: (triumphantly) Wonderful thank you! (laughs, genuinely)
Woman: Excellent! (smiling)
And it made me smile too, and it cheered my heart, and as I walked the 90-odd seconds back to the house I looked down across our town and I breathed in the air and thought “Yes! I’m wonderful too!” because I am, and the day was, and on the whole my life is.
What difference would it make to me day-to-day if I answered the question “How are you?” with a triumphant “Wonderful!”? I don’t know, but I’m going to try and find out because it can’t be worse than my usual sighed reply. I’m incredibly lucky, my life is wonderful, I ought to try and acknowledge that and feel that as often as I can. Starting now.
B&M Bargains And Growing Up
I went in a B&M Bargains store today! When I last shopped at B&M Bargains they were a relatively small chain of shops found only in and around Blackpool. 15 years on and they’ve been developed into a national chain and as I bought cheap mealworms for the chickens and a novelty sock hanger for the washing line I was thrown back to my days on the Fylde Coast. I quite enjoyed being back in a B&M Bargains Store, if only because I like the feeling that I was in on this one from early on – like having seen a stadium-band in a small pub before they made it. If only I’d tested the Hello Kitty toothbrush light before leaving the shop…
Today’s the day Thatcher died. I grew up in a Conservative household in a constituency so Blue they put an Iraqi-born candidate forward at the last election and still won. I went to a grammar school that may as well have been a recruiting office for the Conservative Party. From the age of 8 when I started to be vaguely aware of politics to the time I was in the sixth form I only knew one Prime Minister. Margaret Thatcher was the Prime Minister and I was in her thrall. I was so right-wing & anti-European I’d be a member of UKIP now, and I wrote her a letter telling her so. I didn’t know any better, how could I growing up where, and how, I did? If I moved further and further right from 8 to 18, from 18 to 38 I’ve shifted completely the other way. I’ve seen some of the world since then. Enough to find myself becoming more left-wing as each year passes and finding myself despising the things I now realise Thatcher stood for.
My teenage infatuation with Thatcher’s politics isn’t something I’ve ever tried to hide – there were mitigating circumstances I was powerless to control – but I do feel like a man who long ago realised his first “love” wasn’t actually worthy of his attention and now feels a little bit silly. From me, no tributes (is there a politician I respect enough?), no celebrating (it’s not Blair after all), just remembering what I used to believe in and being thankful that I’ve grown up.
moonpig.com Jingle Free MP3 Download
All together now…
“Moonpig Dot Com!”
Who can resist the charms of the moonpig advert?
Hmmm…
There is one around these parts who can’t help but dance to the moonpig.com advert jingle.
It is therefore in his honour that I present the moonpig mp3, taken directly from the moonpig.com advert theme tune.
Just click on the link to download. Enjoy!
Spider Pig Song Free MP3 Download
Spider Pig is one of the funniest bits of the Simpsons Movie, and the makers know it. The song Homer sings appears in various forms throughout the film. Here’s Homer Simpson singing Spider Pig as a downloadable MP3!
